Fight or Fly back to Misery

So I came back for a week to visit family. Oh how I miss my family. It has been over a year since I have been able to come back and last time was for only 3 days!!! Now I have more time and have been able to visit more friends and family. It has been nice. Except that my controlling boyfriend wont get off my ass! Now the question is am I going back? "But why" I keep asking myself. I have no family there. He has a sister and her family which we see periodically but with 2 kids of her own they have their own life to live. Thats no problem at all. What sucks is Him. Every time I bring up the fact that I want to find a job he makes excuses. Now he's excuse is because our 2 year old is not potty trained :-( I tried to explain that once she does get potty trained she still can not properly wipe her ass for another 1+ years! This is coming from a person who wont even help get her ready when he is pushing me out the door!! sigh. Then there is the fact that he bitches more then a female on her period. I'm at the point that I have to ask  him if i can spend even a dollar or take the girls to the park because as he likes to remind me, we barely have any money (just enough to pay bills . . . sometimes) and to travel even to free events takes gas - arghhhh. The worst part, he is mentally abusive and tries to use mind control and reverse psychology. I have told him starting a year ago that I am not happy. But does he listen? NO. He hears what he wants to and tries to make it into something it is not. As if he is trying to read in between the lines that are not there. I told him point blank I am not happy because he has became SO disrespectful not only to me but my oldest daughter (from a previous relationship, I have two of which the younger one is his). I am tired of him calling them both ugly "its better if they hear it from me then people on the street" - idiot! He wont let me sign my oldest for sports and every time I mention I want to go back to church he says he will take the younger one to Johavah Witness (because he knows I love celebrating holidays and they do not). Probably what did it was the day I was getting ready to fly to see my family, he bitched that I can not be going to see them every year. It is to expensive, yet it is my family who is paying for the trip just to see the kids, not him! Sad! But the worst part is the fact that he calls the older one dumbass and worst "you're no better then your stupid father" which hurts me just listening to him. I do not believe this is a way a child should be raised and it is my fault she is in this position so now it is my responsibility to get her out!! And although I tell him not to be so mean he refuses to listen to me and we end up arguing - all the time. It is so bad it has became almost on a daily basis. Then he tries to say "well this is how you meet me" but in fact it is not. When I meet him he was respectful and nice but he slowly changed. Oh the great part, he tries to turn it around and calls me the "boss" because I make the decisions which is the whats for dinner or the few decisions he does not want to make. What hurts is that some people warned me but I ignored them along with my instincts and the signs. I fell for his attention and his charm and the fact that he wanted a family as much as I did. Now unfortunately my children will have to pay for my stupidity unless I can get us out before it is too late, if it ain't already. I have tried to leave for a year but he continuously tells me how I can only go if I leave my youngest one with him. Sometimes he says I can see her, other times he says I will never see her. Sometimes he reminds me that he can just hop on a private boat and take her to South America where I will never be able to find her!! And he has bragged about how he can get rid of people by making it look like an accident. So far his scare tactics has worked but I am feed up. I am SO emotionally drained I am reluctant to go back. I have 2 days to figure it out and I am still not sure what to do. If I stay with my family then I know I will be in a fight of my life for my child. But I am a mother and now is the time to be a mother bear to protect my children. 
It is now or never. Fight or fly back to misery.