Please let go :-(

The other morning I get a call from "him". Just waking up I answer in a good mood but his second sentence was already accusing me again of cheating on him - again! So I hung up and ignored him. I am so tired and over this. Then today I had to swear on my family and the bible before he would believe me. But I gave him a hard time about it. I honestly don't think I should have to swear on so much if I'm not asking for forgiveness. Even though I didn't do anything I am so over begging and pleading and defending myself or for myself that I don't care what he thinks anymore. But now of course he wants me to go back. But why? It will never be the same. Weather he believes me or not he will be more controlling and on my ass so much more. When ever he wasn't watching me before he will be now! He asked me on scale from 1-20 how much do I love him. I responded to the best I could, a 10. Why? because I love him as the father of my child but I no longer am "in love". But he just don't get it. And it all has to do with his attitude but more with him being so disrespectful to me, the kids, and everybody and anybody! I think it is past the point of fixing and I don't know if I can go back and do it again. Why can't he just let me go??